moot point

January 3, 2012

Brenda Cromb on The Handsome Furs’ “When I Get Back” (from Sound Kapital, 2011)
(iTunes, Rdio, Spotify)

I first heard “When I Get Back” in the upstairs concert space of a pub in Islington. The Handsome Furs aren’t as big in England so I’d somehow wound up right next to the stage. They introduced it as a song about being on tour and all the promises they made themselves about how things would be different when they got home.

“When I Get Back” starts with a ragged chant: “When I get back, when I get back home / I won’t be the same no more.” You can hear Alexei Perry singing under Dan Broeckner, slightly behind him, a dead-eyed echo. It sounds weary, cynical. The words say “When I get back,” but the voice is unsure if that’s ever really going to happen, and an uncertainty about what that could mean, as drumbeats skitter under the verse. “Oh, my heart it was in trouble / but it will be changed / I won’t feel it anymore.”

I’m a Canadian who’s spent the year “on tour,” too. I’m spending a year abroad living in London, traveling a lot, drinking a lot. It’s been an incredible amount of fun, but it’s also been kind of scary, in an “oh my God, I’m 28 years old, what am I doing with my life?” kind of way. This song has been my mantra when things have started slipping, like eating healthy food or writing as much as I should. “When I get back, when I get back home,” I’ve said.

Listening to it again now, I don’t just hear the cynicism of the “when I get back,” the putting it off. I also hear wonder (“I saw cities, planes, and stars I’ve never known”) and I hear the sincere intent (the repeated “straight from the heart” at the close of the bridge) as the beat gets more regular, and the voices come more into unison. The song ends how it started, but the weariness is replaced with belief. Something about Broeckner’s “I will be changed” makes me think that maybe, this time, I will too.

Brenda Cromb is a Canadian on her way back to Toronto. She has a Tumblr and occasionally posts longer pieces at Pop Culture and Feelings.

I wrote this thing about my favourite song from the new Handsome Furs album for Unbest. If you’re not reading Unbest, it’s a pretty great project, because it’s all about music and feelings, and I’m really excited to be part of it.

7:58pm | URL: http://tmblr.co/ZSRIbyEE2l-w

(Notes: 9)